AND THE WINNER IS?......................

A lesser person may have shied away from a race billed as the Hairy Gorilla Half Marathon where participants were encouraged to bring bananas to feed the aforementioned primates. But not me.

The race was held on Sunday, October 28 in Vorheesville New York, about 20 minutes outside of Albany and was a half-marathon trail race through lovely Thatcher State Park. I had done some training runs up at the park over previous weekends, so felt like I knew what to expect. However, a full day of rain on the Saturday before killed whatever pre-race confidence I had. This would be my first half-marathon atempt (and, actually, my first road race ever), and on what would undoubtedly be a wet and sloppy trail but, as the old Team Irontom motto goes...well, there is no motto. We should work on that.

The race started at a very civil 9:30 in the morning and was, not surprisingly, holloween themed. Volunteers were all in costume, including one person in a full gorilla suit who did take one of my bananas as I went to registration to get my race packet. Now, I have to say right from the start, that for the very reasonable $20 entry fee you got quite a bit. Not only had the volunteers done a lot of work decorating the area (and, as we'll see later, the whole course), but there was a fairly generous gift bag complete with race-logoed socks and pint glass.

Weather wise, I had planned for slightly warmer temperatures and even as the morning moved from 8 a.m. to the time of the race start, it was still a bit chillier than I had hoped. My orignal plan had been 3/4 length compression tights, my TOMs top and arm warmers. With the cooler temperatures, I opted for a long-sleeve jersey over the TOMs top and gave the arm warmers to my wife, who was heading off to the 11 mile marker to pass out water.

The gun (or the siren) went off right around 9:30 and we immediately set off down a banana-strewn grassy field. I know you're supposed to watch out for banana peels, but don't be fooled--they are also treacherous when they have their stuffing. I had positioned myself near the front of the pack and, within 100 yards or so, we hit some single track going through the woods. Here was where I realized that I needed to get around some people if I was going to have any running room and if I was going to be able to settle into my pace. So, even though it was really early out I put on a couple of speed bursts at oportune moments so that I could find some open trail. Within the first mile I had settled into a nice pace following close behind some guy and knowing that there were ten or so people up ahead of me. So, very early on, I asked myself that inevitable question: can I hang on to this for the whole race?

The first real test came around two miles in when we hit a rather steep incline that was made up of loose, wet rock. Not fun. That was a real killer and, knowing that the following 1.5 miles would be uphill I forced myself to go really, really slow, using the guy in front of me as a guide. Eventually the first round of hills was conquered and we hit some nice, flat single track before a long downhill.

As we neared the 5 mile mark, which re-entered the single-track that had started the course, another compeitor caught up to me and, as we neared the end of the first 6 mile loop, was clearly looking to pass. Now, had I known that he was only racing the first 6 miles (which was an option), I would have just let him pass and let him sprint to the finish, so I felt a little bad about that. But, he went on his way to the finish line and I, after some confusion, got put on track to take on the second, \n7.1 mile loop. I had done the first 6 miles in about 42:40, which I was happy with, especially given the very slow hills. My hope was that I could maintain the pace.

The second loop started in another open grassy field. These parts I found to be some of the most exhausting to run in: the ground was soft, the grass was long, and the terrain very uneven. I also saw my original "guide," who had broken away from me a bit, about 200 yards ahead.

For the most part, the early stages of this loop passed uneventfully except that it was a lot wetter than the first loop. It wasn't long before my shoes and socks were soaked with very cold water. Now, I should say here that I had decided to wear my cross-country racing flats for this race. I had trained in them quite a bit, and really liked them, but had never run in them for as long as the race would demand, so I knew there was a real risk. But it was the right decision, mostly because the shoes were so insubstantial they did not hold a lot of water meaning that, even though I was very wet, I did not have that water-logged sloshing shoe feeling. Miles 8-11 were pretty rough. First there was another steep hill to climb, and here I came nearly to a standstill. Second, there was a lot of running on spongy, grassy roads and fields. The upshot, however, was that it was taking its toll on the guy I had been following for the first hour so I was able to pick him up. The worst was when we had to circle this large cornfield--soupy mud, long grass, and uneven ruts made for real slow going. I was also happy to see a couple of bow hunters driving by on four wheelers in full camoflage. "This is not the day to be shooting at moving things," I thought.

After the cornfield, things picked up a bit. We had climbed to the top of a substantial hill and for about 100 yards, had a really spectacular view. I was at mile 10 and generally feeling good. Coming into mile 11, things were looking up. I got a nice cup of water from my costumed wife and was looking at the home stretch which, I knew, had to be mostly down hill. Then the puddle came up. Now, there were lots of puddles on this course, and you could avoid them by either going around them or delicatly hoping over them. There was no getting around this one--about 15 fee across and spanning the whole width of the trail. I slowed a bit to look for a way around and then gave it the ole' college try and just went right through it. Following the puddle there was about 100 feet of solid rock surface to run on, which I found to be pretty treacherous.

The real trouble came as I neared this little footbridge. The script called for me to nimbly step onto the bridge and continue on my way. In reality, I nimbly got my foot caught under the bridge and fell headlong on top of it. I managed to land on my right hand side, mostly on my shoulder and hip. I got up, not really hurt but just a bit dazed, and tried to get myself back together. It was here that another competitor caught me and started racing at my shoulder. Soon he passed on the right. Now, this turned out to be a real godsend. After the fall I realized that I had lost a lot of focus and was stumbling around quite a bit. With someone in front of me, my focus returned. All I had to do was stay at his shoulder and let him pull me through the rest of the course.

So, off we went, even chatting a bit. I think we both knew that the lead was his and I really wasn't going to push for it. He wasn't in my age group, so there was no real point, and while he was setting a brisk pace, I knew that if I pushed him, he would respond. So, I just let him lead the way. Things started to get hairy as we came down the last hills. The muddy conditions meant that I was doing as much sliding as running but as long as I kept my feet moving, I was okay.

We pushed all the way through the last 200 yards, passing over the banana-strewn field again, through the cardboard graveyard and into the finish. I came in at a solid 1:34:09 which was good enough for 10th overall, and 1st in the men's 20-29 division. I changed into some dry clothes, got some fluids, and then parked myself in the sun. The volunteers put on a substantial cookout so I ate a bit and later my wife joined me after he duties as water attendant had ended. I got my award (three cookies shaped like gorilla heads) and then headed home for a quick bath, nap, and lunch before hitting the road back to New Hampshire. Needless to say, the cookies did not survive the car ride.

Overall, a very fun, very challenging race, and one that I will repeat next

CHEESEMAN

The cheese grater, carnageman, IMMOO.

These are only a few of the names associated with Ironman Wisconsin. The 2005 edition lays claimto the hottest IM temps I've encountered (high 90s, with highhumidity) and the highest dnf rate (19%, including yours truly) of any ironman race in the history of the series. The 2006 sufferfestforced the hapless racers to endure the coldest temps I've everencountered, well, at least while in the rain and garbed in spandexfor 12 hours and 43 minutes. The swim usually is a slugfest, with asmany as 2475 participants, not to mention the double helix (nottalking about all the dna we leave behind) into the transition.

The ride has been described as "climb, descend, turn, repeat", which pretty much says it all. Two climbs up Observatory Hill, two tripsthrough Camp Randall Stadium, two trips around the capital buildingadorn the run course. In only the sixth year, this race has a littlehistory. I've been there every start, and only once was I unable to finish.

This time, I was there with John Souther, my NH friend who had strict instructions not to let me sign up for next year, and had threatened me with physical violence if I did. We deplaned in Chicago Thursdayafternoon, headed up to Madison and got settled in. I had quite afew friends doing the race, as always, and wanted to enjoy what mightbe my last trip to the mid-Western crucible.

On the heels of Lake Placid, I hadn't gotten much good training in, especially on the run. The recovery after the crash had been difficult. I'd had trouble sleeping and couldn't really do the easy type exercise that is so important to get the last race out of your muscles. Although I'd gotten in a fair amount of swimming and riding, my run volume had been low, maybe 60 miles total between theraces. Well, nothing I could do now. I was here to enjoy myself. Someone once told me you're supposed to enjoy these things, at least I think they did.

The weather was beautiful leading up to the race. Clear skys, no wind, warm temperatures, amazing sunsets and sunrises, perfect fall weather. The forecast for Sunday looked to be the same. For the first time since the inaugural year, the weather would be nice. I was relieved.

We hung out, I relaxed and visited friends, and prepared my strategy. I had noticed that at LP I had had too much to drink onthe run, which had led to an uncomfortable feeling in my tummy and also led to many port-o-potties. I decided to go with one less drink per station, for a total of 2 if I was feeling ok, maybe 3 if I was thirsty. For the swim, my goal was to stay to the outside, which is always my goal, but somehow I always seem to wind up going right along the buoys. On the ride, go easy!!! I made my pancakes at afriend's house (and sustained much ridicule for my intake of Ensure while doing so), and it seemed that all was ready for my adventure.

I decided to drive to the race with a friend who was staying at our hotel. When I asked him what time we were leaving, he said "4:15."which prompted me to ask "In the morning?!?" to which he replied"Yup." I reminded him that we were only a 7 minute (max) drive from the venue and it wouldn't be open until 5. I could see this was non-negotiable, and so I begrudgingly agreed. I drank a couple Ensures before bed, turned in, and slept well.

I got up around 3:45 and ate some left over pancakes and 2 Ensures. This provided good, easily digested carbs that burn completely off. Felt like a million bucks. Met up with my ride, and the day wasunder way.

It was actually quite good to be very relaxed while waiting for things to start. Since I had a pump, I pumped up quite a few folks'tires, had plenty of time to get everything ready (bags containingvarious racing items) and get my suit on. The sunrise from the topof Monona Terrace was spectacular. A leisurely walk down the parkingramp (a helix going down three levels) to the swim start, into the water, and waiting to take off.

I tried to find an open spot for the start of the race, but eventually it was clear that was going to be impossible, unless I started 50 or so yds behind the line, which I wasn't about to do. I prepared myself mentally for the inevitable wall of flesh after the cannon (and they really use a miniature cannon here) goes off. Ablast and we all started blasting.

Miraculously, this time I did stay far enough to the outside, and after the initial frenzy I found relatively open water. It was so easy I almost felt compelled to swim over to some other iron dudes or dudettes and give them a few whacks! Well, not really. I had a little contact at various points, but it was pretty smooth. The water was also very comfortable and flat, the opposite of last year. Near the end I even started breathing on my left side, which I never do when racing. I felt really smooth and was thinking to myself "Hey, I might have a good swim time?!?" Imagine my surprise when I saw, upon exiting the water...... 1:14 and change. D'oh!! When willI ever learn? No matter, I got my suit peeled and ran up the helix,which is not easy in a crowd of people who have just also swum 2.4miles. The spectators were out in full force, lining the road andthe ramp. Very exciting.

Now, in the past I've really blasted the transitions in Madison. When I've gone really hard and been well organized, I've been as lowas 8:30-ish for T1 and T2. That's fast for this course. The fastesttimes are usually below 7, but not much. This time my total transition time was about 15 or 16 minutes.

I was in no hurry. I got my pancakes, inhaled some Gu2O, and ran out into the HUGE biketransition area. My bike was in the first rack. On the way there I got yells and a friendly slap on the keister from good friend and fellow Team Fun member Pete Ylvisaker (I'm on a lot of teams: TeamGoofy Bastard, Team TMF, Team Fun, Team Irontom...). Then I grabbed my bike and ran the LOOOONG way to the other end of the ramp and theother helix, which yes, you have to ride down.

Out onto the course. Beautiful day for a ride. The first few miles wind you under a bridge on a one lane bike path, through a parkinglot, over a freeway, and then it's out into the picturesque Wisconsincountryside.

About 10 miles into it, you run into an endless succession of short (and sometimes steep) hills. There were at least6 times when I was in my smallest gear and out of the saddle on the 2loop course, which I never had to do in LP. Of course, I think I was in better shape and lighter then. There is one point when you come to the bottom of a descent to a stop sign and right hand turn which goes into a 50 yd steep hill. That's kind of the standard there. Madison has 80 some turns, or a turn about every 1.3 miles. Some of the descents are fast and very windy. Bike handling skills are a bigasset, and I've usually done pretty well there. That also makes it abit hard to eat, but I was sticking to my schedule of 2ish pancakes and one gel with about 1 liter of water and Gu 2O and 3ish salt tabsper hour quite well.

I'm moving through the pack but not pushing hard, holding back forthe second loop during which I'll need fresh legs. Passing is difficult with the crowds and turns, but that's going pretty well too. Shortly before the town of Mt. Horeb, I was caught behind a large group of riders for a few miles because there was no room toget around. When an opportunity came up, I put on a big surge and got around them, which was good with a longish hill and an aid station ahead. After going through the aid station and going through a traffic circle, I noticed the back end of my bike seemed very squishy. I looked down and sure enough, I was going flat. I pulledoff to the side to fix it and minutes later every slacker in that group rode past me. Grrrrrrrr.

However, at this point, my hands were like claws. I had also taped my repair gear to my seatpost, thinking that would be more aero, quicker in transition, and a bit lighter. Big No No! As I was fumbling with trying to get my kit off the bike and fix the flat, I realized that it would be impossible for me to carry my trash and other detritus. So I just stared dumbly at it before trying with no success to stuff it in my pockets. This long stop did provide me with a good chance to eat, however.

Finally, a group of people were walking by and I asked them to be my trash crew, to which they agreed. I should emphasize at this point that there were LOTS of people watching this race. Even in the country, there was no stretch of more than a half mile without someone there, and the small towns you ride through are great, one of them is just like being in Le Tour de France, with a narrow corridorfor you to ride through that is lined for 400 yds with screaming fans.

So I'm back on the road, with no idea of how much time I lost. Not too worried about that, as I didn't really plan to race this one anyway. Now begins the hardest portion of the race, with a series of short, steep hills that leads to a very dangerous descent, which leads to another section of short, steep hills. The payoff is quite nice though, as you finish your first loop in Verona, the Tour town.

As I'm reaching the end of the Verona, riding pretty hard on adrenaline, I see my 81 year old father sitting roadside with mybrother-in-law out of the corner of my eye. I rode about 50 yardsds beyond them before I found a safe place to turn around and go back to my dad and give him a few hugs and tell him I love him (so emotional). He shed a few tears, told me to go out and win (awshucks, Dad!). I said I wasn't going to win, but I would finish and was feeling good. After a quick check for safety, I got back on my way.

The second loop was uneventful. I rode well, and didn't stop inspecial needs for a re-supply as I had in Lake Placid. I felt prettystrong all the way through, but toward the end it was a bit of a struggle, especially as the wind was picking up and the last 7 miles were directly into it. There were a few times when I started to feel a bit nauseous, but I promptly got food and fluid in when that happened. It's hard to maintain that focus during a long day, and even though eating is the last thing you want to do when you'refeeling crappy, you have to force yourself to do it. I think my total ride time was 5:51 and change. Not great, but ok. I was now 7:15 ish into the race.

Another slow transition, during which I applied Vaseline, drank Pepsi, and then put on some sunscreen, and ran out to the capital circle drive, all the while surrounded by fans. John had welcomed me into T2, and it was fun to constantly see my old friends, the cheeseheads.

I knew that with the low run volume I probably didn'thave a full marathon in my legs, so my plan was to go very slowly a sfar as I could and then manage as best as I could. There's a steepand long hill at mile 5 and 18 that you have to go over, so I was preparing myself for that.

I jogged, slowly, making sure I got a water and gatorade or water and cola at every stop. This marathon is unique in the IM world in thatthe whole run takes place in the city, so you're never far away from a crowd of enthusiastic fans. I kept chuggin' along. There are some really cool places. You run through some great parts of UW Madison campus (UWM has 40,000 students, and they come out in force for the ironman) and through the street side bistros of State Street.

Anyway, when I got to the halfway point of the marathon, I hadanother chance to hug my dad, right in front of the capital! That was a good photo op, but it was missed. A few seconds later therewas John, as well as another friend who's a student, and so on. I was still feeling pretty good, but had 13.1 miles left. I shuffled on.

I got to the 15 mile mark, looked at my watch, and realized that if I kept going at that pace, I had a shot at going under 11 hours, whichwould have been a new record for me. Thinking again about my low running volume, I immediately slowed down to try to make that impossible. I thought if I tried to do that I would never make it and would really turn the last portion of the race into a death march.

When I got to the hill again at mile 18, I was feeling pretty crappyand my legs were indeed hurting. There was no running up that hill this time. I had expected that and was ok with walking. I walked through campus and along lake Mendota. I was just about to start running again when a Canuck came alongside me, also walking, and we engaged in a very pleasant conversation. Since my chances of goingunder 11 hours were long gone, I decided to walk further with him, and we discussed the pros and cons of ironman racing, life, and other things you do when you're really smoked. We walked until about 2miles left and then ran it in. My finish time was 12:15:59. People say I should say I did 12:15, but I'm happy with 12:16.

And I didn't sign up for next year. Really.....

THE ATIPRSFFE REPORT

When asked to write the report of the first annual Team Irontom post-race season food and fun extravaganza (or the first ATIPRSFFE, for short) I jumped at the opportunity because I knew that this was my chance, perhaps my only chance, to let all future generations know that team Shimano won, and team Speedo is a bunch of cheaters.

Like any race one can not begin to appreciate the event without situating it within its preparatory context. In this case, it was the drive over to the venue. Having gotten sidetracked at step one in Chuck and Carla's impeccable directions, TOMasz, Kasia and I were forced to rely on the assistance of some friendly locals (or "yokels" as we call them in these parts) to guide us to the heart of Plainfield.

Arriving fashionably late (as was the plan, of course) we were greeted by a host of new and familiar faces and a smorgasbord (I just want you all to know I spelled that right on the first try without the spellchecker!) laid out on the kitchen table. Thank god because I failed to properly manage my pre-party nutrition and was close to bonking out before things got going.

And got going things did...get. Having been away from the UV for several months I was happy to see plenty of familiar faces and to be able to associate new faces with all that stuff I read on the team blog ("ohhhh, so you're that crazy couple that did that half iron in the cold and rain.) But, the real adventure started when Britta gave us all a team building exercise to do.

Now, let's just say that, as a team, the TOMs are not the most generous when it comes to giving people "undivided attention" but in a remarkable display of superhuman patience Britta got us through the basic instructions of the task at hand and divided us up into two teams--Shimano and Speedo. You've probably guessed which team I was on. The first task was this: each member of the team was given a paper plate and asked to write on it something essential to completing an Ironman race. I'll spare you the details of our team's deliberations, but let's just say that if only had the six things that we put, I'd be lucky to finish a walk to the mailbox. The second task was to take those six plates and using them as "stepping stones" (imaginations people) use them to get our team members across a raging river of Chuck and Carla's lawn.

To make a long story short (or a short story really short), the Speedos managed to get themselves across the river while the Shimanos were swept away by the current. Fun was had by all and an important lesson was learned: make sure you get picked to be on the team that knows what they are doing.

Following our encounter with the mighty mississip of Plainfield we all returned indoors for the much awaited awads ceremony--produced, directed, and hosted by the TOMahawk himself. Chuck took home the "best race time in Lake Placid" trophy--a behemoth sculpture that is, even now, testing the structural integrity of his mantle. TOM-a-lot took home the "most courageous at Lake Placid trophy," while T2 captured a trophy for his inspired "dominoes and a nap" race-day strategy. TOMb was recognized for his outstanding race season and TOMasz was given the team MVP--or should we say MV...T! no MVP is better--for all of his work bringing, and keeping, the team together.

With much food left to be eaten, and a pile of dishes that dared not be approach, the TOMs left Plainfield party central for their respective base camps. It was, without engaging in any hyperbole, the best, most successful, and most fun thing that anyone has ever done, or will do.

So, with the first ATIPRSFFE (see above) behind us I'm already looking forward to next year. Of course, with the rate of growth that the team has achieved in such a short time by next year we may need to think about renting an American Legion hall.

WE HAVE A FIRST AGE-GROUP WINNER

Stay tunned for the details ........................................

PINNACLE CHALLENGE REPORT

This event was billed as a double duathlon. Five mile road run, 5.5 mile mountain bike ride, 13.75 mile road ride, and a 3.4 mile trail run.

The five mile road run was a run through a field and then onto a loose soiled rail trail. This lasted about 2 miles and then finally onto pavement. I finished the 5 miles +/- in just under 40 minutes which is not bad for me considering what was to come.

The mountain bike ride was tough with mostly single track and up a decent hill for the first half, and down it the last. I also warped my rim somewhere near the end. This turned out to be my worst event.

My road bike ride went fairly well and my trial run went pretty good, too. I actually passed someone which gave me motivation to keep up a decent pace for the rest of it since I didn't want that person to pass me.

Overall my time was just under 3 hours 22 minutes. My longest event to date and a pretty good time. I learned, I have work to do on technical aspect of riding the mountain bike.