When asked to write the report of the first annual Team Irontom post-race season food and fun extravaganza (or the first ATIPRSFFE, for short) I jumped at the opportunity because I knew that this was my chance, perhaps my only chance, to let all future generations know that team Shimano won, and team Speedo is a bunch of cheaters.
Like any race one can not begin to appreciate the event without situating it within its preparatory context. In this case, it was the drive over to the venue. Having gotten sidetracked at step one in Chuck and Carla's impeccable directions, TOMasz, Kasia and I were forced to rely on the assistance of some friendly locals (or "yokels" as we call them in these parts) to guide us to the heart of Plainfield.
Arriving fashionably late (as was the plan, of course) we were greeted by a host of new and familiar faces and a smorgasbord (I just want you all to know I spelled that right on the first try without the spellchecker!) laid out on the kitchen table. Thank god because I failed to properly manage my pre-party nutrition and was close to bonking out before things got going.
And got going things did...get. Having been away from the UV for several months I was happy to see plenty of familiar faces and to be able to associate new faces with all that stuff I read on the team blog ("ohhhh, so you're that crazy couple that did that half iron in the cold and rain.) But, the real adventure started when Britta gave us all a team building exercise to do.
Now, let's just say that, as a team, the TOMs are not the most generous when it comes to giving people "undivided attention" but in a remarkable display of superhuman patience Britta got us through the basic instructions of the task at hand and divided us up into two teams--Shimano and Speedo. You've probably guessed which team I was on. The first task was this: each member of the team was given a paper plate and asked to write on it something essential to completing an Ironman race. I'll spare you the details of our team's deliberations, but let's just say that if only had the six things that we put, I'd be lucky to finish a walk to the mailbox. The second task was to take those six plates and using them as "stepping stones" (imaginations people) use them to get our team members across a raging river of Chuck and Carla's lawn.
To make a long story short (or a short story really short), the Speedos managed to get themselves across the river while the Shimanos were swept away by the current. Fun was had by all and an important lesson was learned: make sure you get picked to be on the team that knows what they are doing.
Following our encounter with the mighty mississip of Plainfield we all returned indoors for the much awaited awads ceremony--produced, directed, and hosted by the TOMahawk himself. Chuck took home the "best race time in Lake Placid" trophy--a behemoth sculpture that is, even now, testing the structural integrity of his mantle. TOM-a-lot took home the "most courageous at Lake Placid trophy," while T2 captured a trophy for his inspired "dominoes and a nap" race-day strategy. TOMb was recognized for his outstanding race season and TOMasz was given the team MVP--or should we say MV...T! no MVP is better--for all of his work bringing, and keeping, the team together.
With much food left to be eaten, and a pile of dishes that dared not be approach, the TOMs left Plainfield party central for their respective base camps. It was, without engaging in any hyperbole, the best, most successful, and most fun thing that anyone has ever done, or will do.
So, with the first ATIPRSFFE (see above) behind us I'm already looking forward to next year. Of course, with the rate of growth that the team has achieved in such a short time by next year we may need to think about renting an American Legion hall.
